[05 Feb 2003|07:13pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | nick drake ] "...the patient, in the meantime, stared throgh me for a very long time. then turning sideways so she would not see me directly, she explained why she was in st. elizabeth's. her parents, she said, had put a pinball machine inside her head when she was five years old. the red balls told her when she should laugh, the blue balls told her when she should be silent and keep away from other people; the green balls told her that she should start multiplying by three. every few days a silver ball would make its way through the pins of the machine. at this point she turned her head and she stared at me; i assumed she was checking to see if i was still listening. i was, of course. how could one not? the whole thing was bizarre, but riveting. i asked her, what does the silver ball mean? she looked at me intently, and then everything went dead in her eyes. she stared off into space, caught up in some internal world. i never found out what the silver ball meant." that's in some depression memoir by kay redfield jamison. i just started it today, so i can't tell if it's good or not. i just took a break on prozac nation, which BLOWS, so don't read it.. i'm just rambling now cause i have nothing decent to say, i guess. today was uneventful, as usual.. margaret tomorrow, hopefully it turns out to be a good visit with shit to say instead of me having to leave early because of a lack of words. life sucks. it really does. input? i'd love it. 4 burned%% # crash&

[02 Feb 2003|08:44pm] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | beta band ] [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<img [...] http://pic4.picturetrail.com/vol62/768148/1340132/19503815.ptp">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <img src="http://pic4.picturetrail.com/VOL62/768148/1340132/19503782.ptp"> <img src="http://pic4.picturetrail.com/VOL62/768148/1340132/19503884.ptp> <img src="http://pic4.picturetrail.com/VOL62/768148/1340132/19503815.ptp"> <img src="http://pic4.picturetrail.com/VOL62/768148/1340132/19503754.ptp"> <img src="http://pic4.picturetrail.com/VOL62/768148/1340132/19503509.ptp"> 3 burned%% # crash&

[02 Feb 2003|04:29pm] 1 burned%% # crash&

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